Carolyn Hax: He’s made me live in this dump for 10 years, and I’m done

DEAR CAROLYN: My husband has always liked our apartment — the bachelor pad he was already living in when we got married — but I’ve never been a fan. The rent was cheap, though, so I agreed to live there for a few years until we saved up a down payment for a house.

It’s now been a decade. We are still living in the apartment. He finds something wrong with every house that we have toured — and there have been dozens. He’ll say the street is too busy (even if it’s a quieter street than the one we live on). Or the house is too small (even if it’s bigger than our current place).

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I don’t think he’s deliberately sabotaging our housing search, but he’s generally resistant to change, and also he’s lived in our current apartment for so long that he’s blind to its numerous faults.

Meanwhile, I’m resentful as hell. I’ve put up with a place I didn’t like for a decade. Why can’t it be his turn to overlook a few faults? Do you have any advice?

Ready to Move

DEAR READY: Have you said any of …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

      

Ask Amy: I fled, and left my siblings with our abusive mother

DEAR AMY: My siblings recently disclosed that our mother subjected them to sexual, mental and physical abuse.

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

As a child, I was subjected to physical and mental abuse at her hand, but I had always assumed that I was the sole focus of my mother’s ire.

I moved out of the house the day after high school graduation.

I no longer have any contact with her.

One of my siblings has informed me that after I left home, and without me there as a focal point, my mother turned her abuse toward my siblings.

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The worst of the abuse involved two of my sisters, who were sexually assaulted by friends of my mother’s.

My mother knew about and condoned this. No one ever went to the police.

Hearing that my mother’s behavior escalated after I left home causes me great guilt for not having been there for them when they were children.

I am at a loss for the next steps to take.

One of my sisters has come to me for help with recovering from the trauma of her childhood. I’ve thought about talking with the police. However, the assaults were over 30 years ago, and the statute of limitations has long passed.

Our …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

      

#MeTooSoon? Chef accused of harassment is back in business

Could this be the “Louis CK moment” of the culinary world?

Just months after being accused of sexual harassment and selling his restaurants, chef Charlie Hallowell is back in business.

His new venture, Western Pacific, will open Thursday, Nov. 1, in Berkeley. It’s billed as a pizza-centric restaurant with small plates and an oyster bar.

But is it #MeTooSoon?

The Twitterverse lit up with snarky notes.

Disgraced chef #CharlieHallowell (who was accused of sexual harassment by over 30 employees) is poised to open a new Berkeley restaurant this week. Whether Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and Matt Lauer will be at the opening is TBD https://t.co/rExqL7juFY via @JustMrPhillips #metoo

— Tony Bravo (@TonyBravoSF) October 29, 2018

BOYCOTT HALLOWELL https://t.co/VduSaPjDfi

— double (@cdouble2073) October 29, 2018

In January, employees and former employees renewed their calls for him to divest from his company, with nine former employees saying his six-month leave of absence wasn’t punishment enough. The women, some holding hands and others with tears in their eyes, detailed years of harassment by Hallowell, a prominent figure in the Bay Area restaurant scene, first at Chez Panisse in the late 1990s before later opening Pizzaiolo, Boot & Shoe Service and Penrose.

The employees said the chef regularly talked explicitly about his sex life, made inappropriate comparisons between female anatomy and food, and openly discussed his attraction to pregnant women, including to one employee who was pregnant at the time.

He closed Penrose earlier this year and Boot & Shoe Service over the summer.

At Western Pacific, Hallowell will be joined by two female managers — managing partner and chef Donna Insalaco and general manager Janette Calderon — and chef de cuisine Troy Wilcox.

According to a press release about the opening, Wilcox’s resume includes stints at Traci Des Jardins’ Jardinière and Judy Rodgers’ …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

      

The public has spoken and the best Halloween candy is ….

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The mission was of high Halloween importance.

We needed to find out, once and for all, what is the most cherished sweet in the trick-or-treat bag.

So, we began with a field of 32 candy contenders and let the people vote. Round after round we went, with the field narrowing by half each time, as some of the best-known brands in the business were steadily eliminated.

Life Savers lost. Butterfinger went buh-bye. Tootsie Pops were toast. And Jolly Ranchers? Not so jolly anymore. The final four included M&M’s Peanuts and Twix, but just Snickers and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups made it through to the final, setting up the ultimate showdown to decide the top treat.

Now the voters have spoken.

And the winner is ….

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Voters were just gaga for that signature sweet-and-salty combination of chocolate and peanut butter, giving Reese’s just over 58 percent of the popular vote.

Congrats to the king of candy — and thanks for playing, Snickers. We still love you and that gooey mix of chocolate, caramel, nuts and nougat.

…read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle

      

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