Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)
DEAR AMY: I am a young woman whose physical appearance is occasionally the subject of comment or “compliment” by men (strangers).
Random men sometimes stop me and directly “compliment” me on my appearance while I am walking to work, driving, or in an elevator. It is unwanted attention and it feels creepy to be observed and commented upon by (often older) men whom I do not know.
How should I respond to these so-called compliments? If I reply with a curt “Thank you” or “That’s nice of you” it will only affirm the male gaze and encourage these people to continue commenting on the physical appearance of random women.
Ask Amy: My narcissistic husband wants me to suffer
Ask Amy: We have bug spray, they have complaints
Ask Amy: After sending horrible note to newlyweds, toxic woman begs for a favor
Ask Amy: My husband can barely look at his slacker son-in-law
Ask Amy: Tips on how to handle a drama machine
If I say something like “Um … OK?” or “Leave me alone” this will (and has) incited a verbal altercation (or more awkward, unwanted attention).
When I’ve ignored the comments altogether, I’ve been shouted at: “You’re supposed to say, ‘Thank you’ when you get a compliment!”
I feel like any response that’s not “thank you” will likely be received with misplaced indignation or even verbal threats.
How should I respond to these unwanted interactions in a way that will discourage men (because it’s always …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle