Ask Amy: If I ignore these men’s ‘compliments,’ they yell at me

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

DEAR AMY: I am a young woman whose physical appearance is occasionally the subject of comment or “compliment” by men (strangers).

Random men sometimes stop me and directly “compliment” me on my appearance while I am walking to work, driving, or in an elevator. It is unwanted attention and it feels creepy to be observed and commented upon by (often older) men whom I do not know.

How should I respond to these so-called compliments? If I reply with a curt “Thank you” or “That’s nice of you” it will only affirm the male gaze and encourage these people to continue commenting on the physical appearance of random women.

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If I say something like “Um … OK?” or “Leave me alone” this will (and has) incited a verbal altercation (or more awkward, unwanted attention).

When I’ve ignored the comments altogether, I’ve been shouted at: “You’re supposed to say, ‘Thank you’ when you get a compliment!”

I feel like any response that’s not “thank you” will likely be received with misplaced indignation or even verbal threats.

How should I respond to these unwanted interactions in a way that will discourage men (because it’s always …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


Natalie Coughlin’s Everything-but-the-Kitchen-Sink Stir-Fry

UC Berkeley alum and Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin is following up her long and splashy career with a culinary one. She’s competed on Food Network’s “Chopped.” She co-owns a boutique Napa winery. And her glossy new cookbook, “Cook to Thrive: Recipes to Fuel Body and Soul” (Clarkson Potter, $25), brims with flavorful recipes that run the full gamut from healthy, nutrient-rich dishes to pure comfort fare, such as her grandmother’s lumpia.

Coughlin’s Everything-but-the-Kitchen-Sink Stir-Fry falls into both the comforting and good-for-you categories with its mix of lean protein, tasty veggies and whole grains. And the vibrant flavors of this homemade stir-fry sauce seal the deal. The recipe template calls for a cup of chopped vegetables, but Coughlin encourages readers to go all in on the veggie front.

“The more the better!” she says.

Double or triple those veggies and you’ll have enough for lunch the next day, too.

Everything but the Kitchen Sink Stir-Fry

Serves 2


6 to 8 ounces protein (see below for options)

Cooking oil, such as peanut or grapeseed oil

1 tablespoon aromatics

1 cup (or more) vegetables

1 cup cooked grain or noodles

¼ cup Stir-Fry Sauce (see recipe below), or soy sauce or fish sauce to taste


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Heat a large wok or skillet over medium-high heat. Using paper towels, pat the protein of your choice very dry. To the hot pan, add 1 tablespoon cooking oil and the protein, and cook, stirring, until cooked through. Add more oil if necessary. Transfer the protein to a plate.

To the hot pan, add 1 to 2 tablespoons cooking oil and the aromatics of your choice. Stir-fry for 30 seconds. Add the toughest vegetables you’ve chosen and stir-fry for 1 to 2 minutes. Continue adding the vegetables. Cook, stirring, until the vegetables reach your desired doneness.

Return the cooked …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


Insider’s guide: Where to eat, drink and play in SF’s Dogpatch this summer

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San Francisco’s sunny Dogpatch district has evolved from a gritty working-class neighborhood to an enclave for artists and young families. It’s home to redwood-filled Esprit Park, the Museum of Craft + Design and La Cocina’s annual San Francisco Food Festival, which means the food and beverage scene is superb. Where do you start? With this list of new and distinctive spots, beginning with Daily Driver, the just-opened, wood-fired bagel shop and butter-and-cheese creamery.

Open since June, Daily Driver brings rural cheesemaking to the city with a coffee roastery and wood-fired bagels on site. (Courtesy Frankie Frankeny)

Sandwiched between Magnolia Brewing Co., and the Museum of Craft + Design, this bright, 7,000-square-foot bagel sanctuary and coffee roastery is a collaboration between two couples: Tamara Hicks and David Jablons, who own and run Toluma Farms and Tomales Farmstead Creamery in West Marin, and Hadley and David Kreitz. Hadley works at the farm and makes cheese; David, an industrial engineer, built the farm’s wood-fired oven and perfected those bagels.

What’s all the fuss? This bagel — hand-rolled, boiled and wood-fired daily — is legit: Chewy in the center with a golden, crisp crust that draws fans to wait in line (at $3.50, it’s also the Bay Area’s most expensive bagel). They’re also here to watch. Public-facing windows look into the urban creamery, where Hadley and crew are churning and hand-batting bars of cultured butter bright as gold, made from the milk of Silva Family Dairy’s grass-fed Jersey cows. Cream cheese, chevre, ghee and quark, a soft, spreadable German-style cheese, are also made on-site, ready to dress those buzzed-about bagels.

For more travel coverage from the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond, follow us on TripAdvisor.You …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


Quick Cook: How to make Lemon Verbena Ice Cream

On a recent hot summer night, I was sitting in my garden when I noticed that the lemon verbena I planted last year was growing so lushly, the herb deserved to be used at once. So I decided to make ice cream!

Lemon verbena makes a great tea that helps relieve indigestion and heartburn. Some verbena lovers say it also soothes anxiety and helps with insomnia. Its lemony aroma smells so wonderful, you can boil it with water to freshen the air in your kitchen. And, of course, it makes great ice cream. You can find lemon verbena at local farmers markets — or substitute other herbs in this sweet treat.Related Articles

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Ice cream is basically a cooked custard that is frozen. The key to making a good one is to cook it properly. The most common mistake is overcooking the custard, which makes the eggs scramble. I highly recommend using a candy thermometer so you know when the custard hits 160 degrees. Have an ice bath ready so you can cool the custard quickly. (And if you’re wondering what to do with all those leftover egg whites, make pavlova or meringues.)

Next time you notice some extra herbs in your garden, like mint, basil, thyme or lemon verbena, put them to use in a cooling ice cream!

Lemon Verbena Ice Cream

Serves 6 to 8


2 cups heavy cream

2 cups milk

1½ cups loosely packed lemon verbena leaves, washed, plus additional for garnish

8 egg yolks

1 cup sugar

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

Berries for …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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