Stephen Colbert wonders if Bernie Sanders is getting too personal, checks in on Trump’s Democratic woes

On Monday, House Judiciary Chairman Jarrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) launched “a sweeping investigation into President Trump’s campaign, businesses, transition, and administration,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday’s Late Show. “So they’ve narrowed the problem to everything he’s done. And the House Democrats are not messing around here — they’ve sent document requests to 81 people and entities.”

“Trump’s bad week really got into gear,” however, with last week’s House Oversight Committee hearing with Michael Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Colbert said. “The Democrats pushed Cohen to reveal as much as he could,” while “Republicans didn’t even bother asking Cohen a single substantive question. Instead they just called him a liar.” But “saying we shouldn’t believe Cohen because he lied in the past is not a good argument,” since “Trump hired him to be his liar,” he added. “He wanted a dirtbag lawyer, he didn’t want Atticus Finch.” Colbert tried out what Gregory Peck would have done with Cohen’s threats, anyway. He also explained what Trump was tweeting about when he tweeted about Cohen’s “just released manuscript for a book” about “Trump.”

About two dozen Democrats are running for president or considering it, Colbert said, but “the current frontrunner is Vermont Sen. — and man who would’ve gotten you health care if it wasn’t for those meddling kids — Bernie Sanders. This weekend, Sanders held two big rallies,” first in Brooklyn and then Chicago. “And unlike the last time he ran, Bernie made this rally personal,” he said — maybe too personal. “If you’re trying to get elected as the oldest president ever, maybe don’t talk about what your allowance was in the 1940s.”

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), meanwhile, has found a beloved surrogate in her dog Bailey, Colbert noted, “which is cute, although it does not bode …read more

Source:: The Week – Lifestyle

      

Jimmy Kimmel knows why Trump was hugging that flag at CPAC

“Our president kept the crowd very warm at CPAC over the weekend,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday’s Kimmel Live. “CPAC, if you’re not familiar, is basically what would happen if Judge Jeanine Pirro headlined the Fyre Festival — it’s a lot of very angry white people. It is the largest gathering of people who believe vaccines are witchcraft in the world. And for two hours and two minutes, Donald Trump gave what I believe we may look back on as his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech.”

“Trump went to one of his signature moves to start it, and I know there’s a lot of competition, but this, I think, this might be the dumbest thing he does,” Kimmel said, showing Trump embrace the American flag. “Donald Trump shows more affection to flags than Eric and Don Jr. have ever gotten in their whole lives.” But like everything else with Trump, “there’s always an angle,” he joked. “Trump isn’t just pandering to his base. The reason he’s a flag-hugger is because that happens to be one of his most lucrative money moves.” The Franklin Mint ad Kimmel’s team threw together is sadly plausible.

“The speech he gave, it covered every subject imaginable,” Kimmel said. “At one point during the two-hour Donalouge, Trump mentioned that he was speaking ‘off-script,’ like we didn’t know that. Because if this was a script, it must have been written for Joe Pesci. … He told jokes, he played characters, he cursed — all he needs is a few stories about growing up in the old neighborhood, this could be a Broadway show.”

Kimmel also ran through some of the eye-popping allegations in a “new, new bombshell report from The New Yorker,” including that Trump pressured the Justice Department to block …read more

Source:: The Week – Lifestyle

      

Stephen Colbert recaps Trump’s handsy, ‘epically weird’ CPAC speech

“Last week was so great, because I’m not Donald Trump,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday’s Late Show, following a week-long hiatus. Near the end of his vacation, he started taking “sips” of the news to ease his re-entry, he said, “and the first indication I had that the orange man was feeling blue was Saturday,” when President Trump “had this historically long and epically weird speech he gave at the Conservative Political Action Conference, or DBAG.”

“The crazy started right off the bean, before Trump even started talking,” Colbert said, showing the clip of Trump “dry-humping Old Glory. I believe that is the first time a flag has ever volunteered to be burned. … The whole flag-hugging thing went over big in the room, except with Don Jr., who shouted: ‘I hate the new baby! Take it back.’ Then Trump began speaking, and speaking, and speaking. He talked for two hours and two minutes, making it the longest presidential oration in American history — which is impressive, because some of Obama’s pauses were almost an hour.”

In the speech, Trump called Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation “bulls–t” and pretended he was being sarcastic when he asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails in June 2016. “I thought I had a bad Trump impression — you don’t sound like you at all,” Colbert told Trump, dishing out some pointers. Also, “you weren’t joking — in fact, you were even asked about it.” He showed the evidence. “Okay, that’s pretty damning video — that’s why it’s part of the new collection ‘Donald Trump’s Campaign Bloopers and Practical Treason,'” Colbert joked. “Trump also did something presidents rarely do: spontaneous product endorsement,” in this case for a 20-year-old product. Watch below.

…read more

Source:: The Week – Lifestyle

      

1 10 11 12