The author, right, with her husband.

My husband’s a spender and I’m a saver, and that dynamic has caused fights in our 14 years together.
We’ve developed three rules that help us discuss money and build wealth, starting with honesty.
We’ve also learned to respect each other’s positions, and remain humble.
stories from Personal Finance Insider.

A long time ago, somebody somewhere came up with the idea of taking all of our earthly possessions and sharing them with a life partner. Things have been tricky ever since. Especially money and relationships – they’re a particularly difficult combination. So difficult, in fact, that 36.1% of couples cite money issues as the cause of their divorce. This staggering statistic is likely why 24% of couples choose not to share bank accounts. But for the majority of us, the straightforward route to sharing life’s burdens with our partners means sharing everything.

This is the approach my husband and I chose before we even got married. We adopted the “what’s yours is mine” attitude 14 years ago, as soon as our relationship shifted from casual to serious. As you can imagine, our fights about money began around the same time.

Being a spender/saver couple isn’t always easy

One might think that choosing a person who shares the same goals and values should eliminate all financial conflict, and my husband and I do share values and goals, but that doesn’t translate to us sharing a financial strategy. For instance, we both value comfort, but to my husband, comfort means feeling secure, which he achieves by saving enough money to handle anything life throws at him. For me, a comfortable lifestyle means being literally physically comfortable. In other words, my husband is a saver and I’m a spender.

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This spender/saver dynamic is likely familiar to anyone who has shared finances with another person. If you’re the saver, you probably know that there are few things as demoralizing as checking your bank account and seeing a smaller number than you anticipated, except perhaps being the spender who, despite being a full-grown adult, knows they’re going to be in trouble for treating themselves to an $8 sandwich. And that’s the thing about sharing finances: Everyone feels bad all the time. Unless, of course, you find a way to make it work.

After years of learning lessons the hard way, I can say confidently that with the help of three simple principles, my husband and I have learned how to keep the peace and build our wealth as a team.

The 3 rules …read more

Source:: Business Insider

      

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