Carolyn Hax: Refuse to be the messenger in their toxic relationship


DEAR CAROLYN: I’m in my teens and a few years ago my parents divorced. They often used me as a go-between for them. I know this was wrong and they shouldn’t have and they said they wouldn’t but they did. I had to go through therapy for this.

My problem is now they’re still at it. They say, “Tell your mom/dad this and this,” and if I don’t want to, they get angry at me. They also get angry when I deliver a message, saying stuff like, “Your mom/dad shouldn’t send messages through you, it’s detrimental, so you tell them from me … .”

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How do I get this crap to stop? I’m so sick of it and nothing seems to be working.

Confused in Idaho

DEAR CONFUSED: The only way I can stand to say what I have to say is to say this first: None of this is your fault. I hope I’m the 400th person to say that. And that you’re the first to believe it.

Now my blue news. One thing will work, but it’s unjustly, grievously, utterly on your shoulders. Say no …read more

Source:: The Mercury News – Lifestyle


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